magic in everything + change in routine
good morning,
listening to the cheeping birds,
noticing my own dissolution of self in to love,
still today wanting to stake a claim on my spiritual practice before the hard busy-ness
of scripts, taxes, admin, trip planning.
i need time on a meditation pillow with hippie music, candles, heartfelt prayers.
last week i faced my worst fear-
and am still finding the words how to tell you about it in another substack draft,
but in the meantime, as always happens when one comes back from time out being sick - i’ve tried to meet life with fullness too quickly,
without the proper foundations.
jumping in feet first and realizing, wait, i need more than a breath.
and i need to reset my altar for spring, this new season,
and it’s okay with me if it takes the whole day.
i had abandoned my altar, a bit, for my relationship -
it’s in the kitchen, the middle of everything, and my partner disapproves.
but it works for a single person.
and i like that it’s in the hearth of the home - the kitchen.
more than a physical space, it’s my spiritual work station.
there i journal, meditate, perform spells, make magical oils, do rituals + yoga.
(yes i’m pretty much a full-fledged Jewitch at this point.)
life has been moving so full force since the new year…
i haven’t really had a breath to be there.
*
i firmly believe there is magic in everything,
and everything can be an altar - even the gym!
an altar, imo, is any container we create for an intention.
a script or the gym can be an altar,
and magic can be everything:
magic is decluttering - moving energy
magic is screenwriting - channelling, spell-casting, transmutation with words
magic is relationship - transmutation through love
magic is your whole life if you let it.
*
for me, the physical altar is the space to hold the base of my life’s energy-
regroup my internal world, my launchpad, yes, but also my shelter.
today i need to claim that shelter, and make it aligned with the whole of me now.
more than the gym.
more than taxes.
more than anything else.
it’s time to bring my feet back down from the frenzy of Doing,
the Youtube videos, the Self-Improvement, the Travel,
the External Markers of Success:
and become one, once again, with what’s inside.
move from there.
*
coming back from being sick for about a week after returning from new york—-
my apartment is not yet fully back to clean,
but i’ve chipped away at laundry and dishes, a little tidying,
a lot of homemade food. showed up for writer’s group, errands, socializing-
sensing how tired my heart is on the very inside part-
can you feel that?
how does the inside of your heart feel?
*
there’s something else entirely i want to tell you.
it’s about the grief that i’ll never really know my partner’s dad,
because he has dementia, and it’s only getting worse.
the underlying thrum of ouch,
as i witness my partner face multiple family losses and challenges.
that dissolution of self i am experiencing into love.
or is it expansion?
*
and another thing.
the deeper i move back into the business of entertainment,
the more firmly i’ll need my clarity of boundaries and sense of self.
my altar - my personal space of intention - more important than ever.
when i think of entertainment, i think of the 7 of cups:
a landscape of trickery where discernment and wisdom are absolutely crucial, because though the cups are full of many jewels, things are not all what they seem…
*
last night i went to a comedy show with a friend/producer in entertainment and i heard the mantra of the year is: STAY ALIVE TIL 2025.
i believe that most of this list is NOT in entertainment (please confirm.), so i’m not writing for an entertainment industry audience here.
that said - whatever challenges you’re facing -
STAY ALIVE TIL 2025.
*
i hope these thoughts and ramblings give you something, some mirror, and if not…
well, you can fire me at any time.
;)
melanie
ps - this young gentleman cat is almost 4 years old! can you believe it?