early to bed
meow michelob mickela mickel-ay
hot water bottle (or)
goopy warm cat tummy
(same/same)
toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe
(count them!)
today in therapy we learned that in our culture:
women are not allowed to have.
men are allowed to have.
nobody is allowed to want.
this explained a lot.
when exploring my appearance, how i choose to look,
i was reflecting on how it feels like everybody wants me to look
YOUNG, PRETTY, PLEASING
but the truth is:
i’m nearing 40, i’m always angry, and i want everything.
it seems so taboo.
but i want to be this, this real me.
more than i want to be what i was taught was wanted from me.
what do you want?
is it allowed?
who will you become if you do?
it’s past my bedtime - don’t tell my dom - and so, sweet dreams.
melanie zoey
-