how to melt
for my love.
i will not write you a cheap trick now,
like the “return home” playlist- slapped together
as you drove away. curled on the red couch, i
scrambled to soothe:
john prine + rhythmic emo girl song + yiddish klezmer + euphoric pop rock +
poignant duets + one song that references our shared kinks, minimum.
a coupla of greats. dylan. patti smith.
the Burger King of playlists,
wholesome and innocuous as an Old Navy commercial.
you said it was fine.
you said you were nourished.
but i know you. and i know better.
*
i want to tell you how to melt, but i’m just enthralled to notice the extra space on the counter, since you moved the $1800 25 lb. juicer with your two hairy arms and cute butt.
*
i want to tell you how to melt, but my dreams are of those shrimp dumplings we made, in’n’out, the ocean’s spray in the warm sun, and all my redheaded friends.
*
okay, here is how to melt.
get into the bath. get soapy. play feist.
gently touch your own skin and feel.
sink. really do it.
let it out — whatever it is.
pound the mattress and salty chips.
you have therapy next week, another shot at learning to be real in a world that made you a man.
how to be friends with a tree
Ask the tree her name.
Notice her roots.
Sing. Not that song. The one she wants to hear.
Gently place your hand on her trunk.
Does a hug feel appropriate?
When you’re done—
Promise her you’ll be back,
you will
tell the world
her name.
how to be in a relationship
SORRY BUT I REALLY DON’T KNOW I AM A FERAL RACCOON
TRY ANY WAY. say sorry that you screamed in the car. make cheap playlists.
open your pussy?drive to the mountain together. read poems by artists who are as insane as the two of you.
(i’m looking at you andrea gibson, thank you.)
how to do an IG-live - even if you’re really scared
my friend - multihyphenate filmmaker, playwright, actress + more -
Melissa Center invited me to do an instagram live with her for “female filmmaker friday.” i punted this down the road for months. we finally did it last week and really what i learned from the experience is the only way to do scary things - is to do them.
how to straddle communities when you can’t fit in the shower
my digital feeds and email inboxes have been blasted with awards season, Sundance and Berlinale - but also the Association of Writers Programs Conference in Kansas City, which is apparently A BIG THING for the poet friends, too.
at the same time, i’m in a weekly mastermind for actors.
and just created a screenwriting group for screenwriters.
sigh, it’s exhausting to be a weirdo multihyphenate mash up -
but what can i do but be me?
i’m reminded of how, on the morning my man was about to leave,
i declared i was following him into the shower.
“okay,” he laughed, skeptically.
i made good on my word, which only led me to remember how very small the shower is, so we could not bend our arms, like a hippie Millennial Barbie and Ken dolls.
“that is a perfect adorable example of when you go by your emotions, and do not think at all of what is practical.”
okay well first of all. me? adorable? staaaahhhhhhp.
second, the words have been ringing in my ears.
what else am i trying to fit in a too small shower?
innovation is great, but if nobody has done something yet - it might be because…it won’t work. why are some of my ideas so outside the box they can be immobilizing?
cc: two people in a shower whose arms can’t move.
when does my whimsy serve, and when does it stifle?
Albert Einstein said “Imagination is More Important than Knowledge”-
yes, and, even he had to understand the limits of physics before he could innovate.
these are some of the Very Mature questions i’ll be noodling with,
on this challenging journey of character refinement called RELATIONSHIP:
where you get humbled on repeat
as someone mirrors your flaws and strengths,
but you also get to steep in a warm chamomile rose tea bath, together
and have sleepover parties with your best friend who you fuck.
Anne Lammott says there is sanity in community.
Everybody is insane sometimes, but in community we take turns.
Gentle invitation to love up on your closest people this weekend-
be vulnerable, be real, be together.
Thank you to my newest subscribers. Who are you? How are you?
Please write back! I’m needy and I know it and now you know it too!
~~HANW*~~
melanie zoey
*have a nice weekend. remember HAGS? have a great summer. :)
ps - current obsessions:
-Online Monopoly (like, it’s bad guys)
-Arrested Development
-Ani DiFranco
-this shrimp dumpling recipe:
1️⃣ Preheat oven to 400F convection (if you have it, no worries if not); mix together the ingredients for the sauce and set aside
2️⃣ Add the shrimp, garlic, Chinese chives, ginger, cornstarch, salt, pepper, sesame oil, and soy sauce to a bowl and mix
3️⃣ Fill up a large bowl (or pie dish) with water and place two damp paper towels on a cutting board; soak the rice paper wrapper in water for ~15 seconds (don’t leave it in too long bc it will continue to soften as you work) and place on the paper towel
4️⃣ Cut the rice paper in half down the middle, break it in two pieces, and put 1 Tbsp of the shrimp mixture in the middle of each piece
5️⃣ Fold the sides of the rice paper over to filling (it will create a triangle shape) then flip the dumpling over and fold the excess rice paper onto the other side
6️⃣ Drizzle a baking sheet with 2 Tbsp avocado oil and add the dumplings; roll each dumpling in oil on both sides as you place them on the baking sheet
7️⃣ Convection bake for 13-15 mins until shrimp is pink and bottoms of the dumplings are golden brown (if you don’t have convection you may need to cook 3-5 mins longer), then broil 2-3 mins until tops of the dumplings are golden brown (watch closely while you broil because the dumplings can burn easily)
8️⃣ Serve with sauce and enjoy!
⏲20 minute prep time + 15 minute cook time
Recipe makes ~ 24 dumplings
My favorite part is the shoutout. Jk. It’s “play feist.”